Hearing God’s Voice Through the Hurt. (How Then Shall We Hear? Part 2)

I opened an email recently from a dear friend, Brenda, who is traveling through breast cancer. She’s had surgery. Currently, she is following a regimen of chemotherapy which will be followed by radiation.

I met Brenda back in 1978 when I was a thoroughly green, new teacher, smack out of college. Brenda was the young mama of one bubbling, blond bundle, two year old Rebecca. Brenda’s husband was the head of the English department at Baymonte Christian High School. I had been hired to fill an opening in the English department after a young teacher had been killed in a driving accident on highway 17 between San Jose and Scotts Valley, California. The school was in Scotts Valley. I had never heard of this California town before Mr. Wallace, the school’s superintendent, came to Grace College in Winona Lake, Indiana, looking for a teacher to fill Carol’s roll.

I had recently graduated from Grace. Mr. Wallace talked me into accepting the teaching position he needed to fill. No, this is not true. He did not talk me into it. He could not convince me. I had no interest. I was looking for a teaching position in either Ohio or Indiana. No. I was not interested in moving across country. Not one cell in my body was willing to trek across the country to some place I had never heard of to take on my first, full-time career position, all by myself. No.

One month later I found myself in Mr. Wallace’s office in Scotts Valley, California. Hmm. No human convinced me to go. The Holy Spirit convicted me and hounded my heart until I said, “Yes, I will do what I do not want to do.”  I heard His silent voice, and I heeded the call. Then I had peace. And then my worried parents drove up from Florida, where my father was pastoring, and my mother rode with me across the country to check out what I had gotten myself into. I did not ask her. She insisted, and I was pleased to have the support. Yes, my godly parents and my big sister supported me in this difficult decision. Everyone agreed that Karen needed to obey this mysterious imperative that rubbed against the desires of each of us.

This is the kind of family to which I belong. God’s will is the will to follow. Seldom has God’s will been revealed to me so blatantly and causing such distress. But, God was smiling. He had many sweet gifts to offer through these steps of obedience, changing my life, the dynamics of my entire family, and the future of one amazingly handsome young man.

How then did I hear God’s voice? In this decision, it was decisively through my conscience. My family, knowing the struggle I went through, respected my conscience, demonstrating this by their actions.  It was there in California that I met Brenda and her husband, Marty. Marty became a life-long mentor to me, not only as a teacher but as a life-counselor. It was also there in California that I met Paul Olsen at a Thursday night, singles Bible study in the Redwood coastal hills of Mount Hermon. Brenda and Marty and Paul and I have been friends all these decades.

I’ve known Brenda and Marty longer than I’ve know my husband. I never would have married Paul if it were not for the marriage counseling that Marty gave me. His counsel dispelled my silly, young notions and brought clear common sense to my attitudes. I am thankful for God’s intervention through the wisdom of Marty and the kindness of Brenda.

Brenda and Marty visited us in October of 2023. Here we are at the Parker Grace Tea Room in Roanoke, Indiana. What gracious, manly men who chose to take their precious wives to a tea room for lunch. And they loved every yummy bite.

It is tricky but possible to maintain good friendships over a lifetime. It is harder in some ways when sickness is an element, but then again, when the fragile nature of our lives and relationships stare us in the face, we draw closer together.

How is Brenda hearing from God and what does it mean to her? How is Marty responding to his wife’s needs? How has hearing from God in the past enabled them to hear from God in the present?

Brenda and Marty have been walking with Christ since childhood or high school. They have been nourishing themselves on God’s Word through their church communities, their personal study, and by letting God shape their worldview and their interpretation of their own experiences.

They take to heart Christ’s counsel:

“These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16: 33). What had Jesus been telling his disciples? He had been explaining that He was going to leave them and prepare a place for them (John 14) , that He would never abandon them but return for them (chapters 14-17), that they needed to abide in Him (chapter 15), that they would be scattered and would abandon Him (16:32), yet He would not lose them but would send the Comforter to them to teach and guide them (chapter 16). Therefore, Jesus could counsel them to “take courage” or “take heart,” even though they would be  severely tested.

The Apostle Peter learned by experience the truth of all Jesus claimed that night. Yes, he abandoned Jesus. Yes, Jesus did not abandon Peter. Yes, after Jesus ascended to the Father, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit who totally transformed Peter (and the others). Taking heart, Peter gained divine courage, and we witness in the book of Acts his bold confidence. Thus, Peter encourages us in I Peter 4:1: “Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose….” Arm yourself. You can set yourself up to be courageous throughout your trials by arming yourself with Christ’s divine purpose. What was/is that purpose? Peter says in I Peter 4:2 that Christ’s purpose was “the will of God” and that Christ-followers should “live the rest of the time in the flesh” for this purpose. Christ did. Peter learned this. Now, it is our turn.

The will of God for the Son was different than it is for anyone else. He is the God-Man redeemer. His will was to do the will of Him who sent Him and to finish that work (John 4:34). The will of God for Peter was to be an eye witness to the life of Christ. The will of God for Brenda and Marty is to be an eye witness to what God has done and is doing in their own lives. This is the challenge they have boldly accepted.

I’ve been amazed at the reports of strength, trust, and positivity that I’ve read in their emails and heard in their voices as we’ve talked on the phone. This shows a growth curve. Truly, when they heard the diagnosis last summer, after a very difficult summer, they first had to absorb what they were facing, walk through confusion and grief, and seek support from family, friends, church, and their medical community. I’m proud of their honesty and God-dependency.

Brenda faced surgery in September. She experienced her first chemotherapy treatment on November 19, which was exactly one year since the publishing of my book, A Traveler’s Guide through Suffering and Joy (subtitled, Changed by Theology that Feeds and Leads). 

Both Brenda and Marty have studied my book. They don’t need my book on suffering and joy to aid them in their Christian walk through trials. They’ve been studying the Scriptures since childhood. “Thy word have I treasured in my heart…” (Psalm 119:11). Yet, they’ve taken the opportunity to study it as they’ve supported my research and writing over the years. I am touched that my book was there for them the year before they faced this latest life-challenge.  Marty wrote the following to me regarding how the book has served them nourishing biblical food that is strengthening their walk through cancer.

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“Your book, Karen, has been a most helpful primer for both of us in this season of our lives.  We remember your teaching us that God’s goodness is complex; in other words, it includes suffering.  The complexity of goodness includes the reality that there are various “flavors” of joy accompanying life’s suffering—courage, comfort, and peace, all of which we have experienced in strong measure during this season of Brenda’s surgery of and treatment for breast cancer.”

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing as though some strange things were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation.”

1 Peter 4:12-13

Brothers in Christ: Marty and Paul